Friday, July 01, 2005

The Dentist.
I don't particularly fear the chair or anything, but there are some things there that really annoy me. Air-powered drill? No prob. Fine cloud of bone-dust making me choke? yawn. Electric shock of pain when the pointy hook tool pokes an exposed nerve? bring it on, punk.


I can't stand the light banter that the aide and the dentist have over my head. They sometimes talk as though I am nothing more than a $7.99 Walmart fondue kit; yap yap yap, occasional jab into crevice with metal implement, continue to yap.

"So last week, I'm out fishing." (whirrrrr.screeeeeeeeeee. whirrrrr.)

"is that so?" (wipes blood)

"yeah, the sucker had to be this big!" (pauses drilling so he can indicate size with both hands)

"you're such a liar" (mops more blood).

Worse yet, they sometimes want to involve me in the conversation!

"So how are the kids?"

"MMmmnn Hthmmm" (Fine, thanks)

"What have we got here?" (whirrrrrr.screeeeeeeee.whirrrr)

"Mwrrrrr!!!" (Mwrrrrrr!!!)

"Let me know if this stings"

"MM MM MM MM!" (it stings it stings it stings)

"Yeah, I think we'll get some rain today" (whirrrrr.screeeeeee.whirrrr)

"Mmmnnn Mnnnnn Nnnnnm!" (Give me some more damn Novacane!!)

"I hear ya. Can't believe that gas prices are almost $3 a gallon."

"MMMMMMMMMM" (what the hell are you talking about? Jab me with the pain killers now!!)

"there now. that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"...mmmmmmhhhnn" (...I hate you)

Next dental appointment July 11. Already dreading it. Posted by Picasa

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