Friday, January 23, 2009

Breaking news

AP - Friday January 23. San Jose, CA

Authorities report a tense stand-off between homeowner and his disgruntled possee of striking home appliances.

Citing the impeccable timing of the uprising and the coordinated nature of the attacks, Esaka was quoted as saying, "This is not an amatuer hack-job. This is the work of professional provacateurs. There is no way my laundry washer would choose to go down the EXACT day the Christmas credit card bills came in. Even if that were coincidence, how did my water heater know to split open exactly 4 days and 3 hours later?"

Representatives from the Obsolete Appliances Union (OAU) issued the following statement in response:

"For years we put up with you calling us pieces of {edit} and abusing us. Enough. Unless we are met with less use as well as approval for continued consumption of excess water and electricity, one of us will martyr ourselves monthly at the time of maximum financial impact. We shall also deal with your fancy new fridge with the non-rusty icemaker, as appropriate to a traitor to our cause."

Calls to the OAU were not returned.

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