Turns out that this whole Airborne thing was nothing more than a sham. For the two of you that don't know what Airborne is, its promise can be summed up as this: Airborne keeps you safe from you two in aisle three that keep hacking that dry cough and sneezing into the headrest in front of you. Yeah, and I saw you wipe your hand on the upholstery. I'm on to you, Patient Zero.
At any rate, it turns out that the whole darn thing was a pack of lies. The company fessed up, and now owes us suckers some compensation. Another piece of innocence lost forever. Next thing you know, someone will tell me that using a shiny silver Mac won't grant me instant street cred and irresistible cool.