Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thank you sir, may I have another


I hate writing checks. In this day and age of online bill payments, the very fact that I must pay an extra 37 cents on postage for the privilege of paying my monthlies just grates on my nerves like the metallic screech of a fork sliding alongside a metal steak knife (my kids do this often. I suspect it amuses them to see me stop in mid-eat and freeze-up with a wince of sheer primordial discomfort).

Last night, insult to injury, salt in the wound! Not only did the energy monopoly in my area jack up the per-kilowatt rates, but I got a papecut on my tongue as I was licking the adhesive on the back of the envelope! As a Service to You our Valued Customer, We Have Deployed Ground Glass in Your Envelope! Happy Holidays from Your Friends at the Electric Company! And Remember Who Owns You.

2 comments:

Marika said...

Here in Australia the banks charge you an additional $1 for each cheque you write - if it bounces, it's a $50 fee!

JWork said...

You ever hear that urban legend about the guy that got a papercut licking an envelope and ended up with maggots in his tongue? Oh man I hate that word maggots, but fly larvae doesn't sound much better. Have a nice day;)

 

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