Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thank you sir, may I have another

I hate writing checks. In this day and age of online bill payments, the very fact that I must pay an extra 37 cents on postage for the privilege of paying my monthlies just grates on my nerves like the metallic screech of a fork sliding alongside a metal steak knife (my kids do this often. I suspect it amuses them to see me stop in mid-eat and freeze-up with a wince of sheer primordial discomfort).

Last night, insult to injury, salt in the wound! Not only did the energy monopoly in my area jack up the per-kilowatt rates, but I got a papecut on my tongue as I was licking the adhesive on the back of the envelope! As a Service to You our Valued Customer, We Have Deployed Ground Glass in Your Envelope! Happy Holidays from Your Friends at the Electric Company! And Remember Who Owns You.


Marika said...

Here in Australia the banks charge you an additional $1 for each cheque you write - if it bounces, it's a $50 fee!

JWork said...

You ever hear that urban legend about the guy that got a papercut licking an envelope and ended up with maggots in his tongue? Oh man I hate that word maggots, but fly larvae doesn't sound much better. Have a nice day;)


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