Brain winding down for the week, but you suddenly receive Monday-material corporate mail? Fret no more!
Before (written by a commitee of writers, editors, and brand managers):
The Alpha Dog Release will help the Company set the foundation to provide customers with the best, most innovative and seamless purchasing experience anywhere. Benefits of the Alpha Dog Release include a robust foundation, improved processes and tools, and improved order and data quality.
After (straight talk translated by Gizoogle's textilizer):
The Alpha Dog Releaze wiznill help tha Company set tha foundation ta provide customa wit tha biznest, most innovative n seamless rhymin' experience anywhere . You gotta check dis shit out yo. Benefits of tha Alpha Dog Releaze include a robust foundation, improved processes n tools, n improved shot calla n data quality.