Thursday, April 10, 2008


Some days, it feels like everyone around is 'in the know' but I, for some reason, am not. Folks nod to each other across conference rooms, sharing a deep insight through line-of-sight. People walk by on the way back from coffee, shrug their shoulders and smile knowingly. As I sign for a package, the mail guy gestured ever-so-slightly with his chin, indicating that he totally hears where I'm at, yo.

It was driving me crazy. So today, I determined that it will be different. As the old commercial goes, "I'm not a wise man, but I play one on TV."

It'll play out like this:

"...and in conclusion, we are on track and will hit our April 19th window," my colleague would say triumphantly. "Any questions?"

"Any questions indeed!" I'd reply, nodding till my neck cramped up.


"Oh, no no, never mind. You did great. Hey, don't every change. Oh yeah, and if anyone
asks, just remember that the Road to Riches passes through Chicago."

"..Chicago?? What's that have to do with.."

"Say no more," I'd interrupt, finger to my lips. "You'll see why this and the number 57 has other significance besides the number of ingredients in Heinz ketchup.""

All I need to do is to keep that up for a few weeks and I will likely develop a cult following that will grow and undoubtedly escalate till I'm forced into a terse standoff with ATF and the FBI in my armoured compound in the Appalachian foothills...

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